There's a dead Lusus outside our apartment
by FeralFighter
Summary: God damn it, they're at it again. Can't a dude help his baby brother eat without some weird beast fight happening outside their apartment? AU and the result of lack of sleep
1. Chapter 1

**HAHA, guess who is currently sleep deprived~!**

**I've had this idea in my head for a little while now and thought that I should just type it up and hopefully get it out of my system.**

**Just so people know, this is an AU where Earth is also the breeding grounds for trolls and where their young are raised by their lusus and have to live along with humans.**

**I do not own Homestuck blah, blah, blah you all know that this craps about**

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God damn it, they're at it again. Can't a dude help his baby brother eat without some weird beast fight happening outside their apartment?

"C'mon Dave, open wide." Dirk cooed, bringing a small spoon holding a yellow mush towards his 7 month old brother. The baby pulled a face of discontent, obviously from the strange, scary noises outside. When Dirk put the spoon to the little dude's lips, a small amount of the food slopped onto the infants face that would dribble down his chin and slop onto his bib.

Dirk sighed, the little man hadn't been this difficult since the time he was teething, oh boy that was a loud, sleepless horror story.

Those freakish monsters outside were just getting louder with their roaring and screeching. There was a very big thump followed by a ridiculously loud cry that sounded like someone set a bunch of cats on fire.

Oh for the love of- that's it, Dirk couldn't take it anymore! With a frustrated growl, Dirk sat the spoon onto the table as he stood up from his seat and strutted towards the door, making sure to grab the broom before leaving the room. When he approached the door at the end of the hallway that led to the outside world, Dirk prepared himself just in case those strange white beasts attacked. Although they weren't often known to attack humans, you can never be too careful with aliens, especially those with sharp claws or fangs.

With a deep breath, the older Strider flung open the door and begun to swing the broom like a sword. "Alright you dumb alien freaks, piss off before I-" Dirk cut himself off when he found a giant, white crustacean like creature curled up on the top of the steps, lifeless and covered in a strange ooze he suspected to be blood.

Well fuck, this was certainly unexpected. Dirk took this opportunity to examine the strange beast through poking and prodding the carcase with the end of the broom. A small whimper was heard from the corpes which instantly made Dirk pull his broom back and positioned it like a sword in case the crab like creature was still alive and tried to take a shot at him. Nothing happened, Dirk was about to head back in and deal with the body later when he heard a rather loud whine and garbling sounds. Curiosity got the better of him so he faced to corps again for a better inspection.

Looking around, he saw nothing but once he moved to the other side, he saw that the creature was holding onto something red and…moving?

Dirk gently poked the strange red thing with the end of his broom, and as expected, the little red thing squirmed and let out a whimper, clearly not enjoying the jab. Dirk dropped the broom and tried to get a better look at the strange red thing, which involved prying it out of the dead animal-like alien's claw and holding the odd, red thing in his arms.

It was a strange little critter. Its body was bright red with 6 legs like an insect and kind of slimy but the head looked almost human besides the grey skin, small, nubby candy corn horns and tiny pointed ears. Oh god it's a troll grub.

The little critter looked up at Dirk with beady, bright red eyes. First with a look of curiosity, then frightened as it began crying; tiny, light red (almost pink) tears were welling up in its eyes.

"Hey, C'mon little guy, no need for that." Dirk said to the grub as he brought his finger to its tiny chin and stroked it. This action seemed to annoy the little alien infant as it growled and bit the human's finger…or gum it since it was just a toothless terror at the moment.

Dirk couldn't help but find that little action rather cute, "Heh, well aren't you a strange little fucker."

The grub continued to gum his finger and let out small squeaks and growls in its futile attempt to harm the being that was holding him. Dirk brought his attention back to the dead crab beast on the steps, remembering how these weird creatures looked after young trolls since fully grown trolls rarely had the capacity to take care of their young themselves.

"This must have been your guardian," Dirk said to himself. He looked back down to the bundle in his arms to see that it had stopped trying to bite him and the little bugger had tired it's self out as it let out a yawn and it's eyes became droopy. Dirk couldn't help but chuckle at its actions, "Better bring you inside then, little guy." With that, Dirk walked back into the apartment and into his kitchen where he found Dave who had knocked the baby food all over the table and smeared around his mouth.

Well…This could be an interesting.

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**This seemed like a good idea that the time...then again, I'm tired so that's saying a dog with a carrot for a head would seem normal or something XD**

**I dunno if this will ever be continued, this was just to get it out of my head but we'll see, depending on the response but for now, this is just a silly little derp idea **


	2. Chapter 2

**Feh! This got a better response to what I expected. Like I said, if it get a decent response (this including reviews, follos and faves) that I would consider continuing.**

**I just hope that this won't distract me from my main story that has broken my chapter record (I usually die at about 4 but sonehow got up to 7 XD)**

**Chapter Two **

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Troll grubs are weird. The little guy has been sleeping for a little over 3 hours on the couch Dirk had sat him on and it doesn't look like he was waking up anytime soon. It would be easy to assume the critter is dead if it wasn't for its fat little grub body rising and falling slowly and the faint snores.

This gave Dirk the chance to clean Dave and the mess he made on the table. It's all cool; the little dude didn't know what he's doing. After cleaning the mess, he placed the infant next to the napping grub, a couple of smuppets and Lil' Cal, and took a seat at the computer for a little research. Obviously, he was going to have to look after the red grub so he'd need to know what he was going to deal with.

According to all the webpages, grubs tend to grow roughly at the same rate as a human baby besides that they understand their surroundings and respond much earlier and they begin to lose their grub-like body at about 13 - 15 months, which is also the age they will start talking. They're known for being nocturnal and are very sensitive to the sun and it's highly recommended that they sleep in a pod full of sopor slime (Whatever the heck that is).

Dave was making a lot of babbling noises as Dirk continued his research. There were a couple light thuds that must have been him knocking smuppets off the couch; Dirk will never understand why his little bro hates those glorious puppet rumps so much. The elder Strider ignored the noises the baby was making till a loud, high pitched squeal caused Dirk to turn his chair and see that Dave had disrupted the grub.

The grub was found struggling under a bright green smuppet. Once free, the little wiggler glared at Dave and hissed, only for the 7 month old to pap him in the face causing the grub to cry, Dave continued slapping the baby troll's face which only made the crying louder.

With a sigh, Dirk readjusted his glasses before pulling himself up walk to the couch. First he picked up Dave who mumbled out 'Bro', usually the older Strider would be praising his little brother for using the only word he knew but at the moment, he was very tempted to revoke his shades privileges. He moved towards the play pen set up in the lounge room corner which consisted of blocks, a teddy bear and a plush cat, three coloured balls and a little car that rolls when you push the giraffes head down. Once in the pen, Dave instantly crawled to the cat, giving it a tight hug as he fell flat on his back.

With his little bro occupied, Dirk brought his attention back to the still crying grub who has left a reddish-pink puddle underneath it…that better be tears or grub slime.

Dirk picked up the wiggler and held it in the palm of his hand, contemplating how something so small could turn into a giant behemoth of an adult troll.

Pushing that aside, how was Dirk going to deal with this when he didn't have the foggiest clue on how to calm a crying grub. With a shrug, he tried stroking its chin with hope that it would work again. It actually made the grub cry louder.

"Shhhhhhh! C'mon man, you gotta tone it down." As a last ditch effort, Dirk began scratching the top of its head, just between the horns. Surprisingly, the little red grub was calming down until it was purring, only to break every once in a while from hiccupping. "Huh, well that wasn't hard."

The grub stopped purring as it glanced up at the blond and let out a small chirp as it began scuttling along Dirk's arm, leaving a faint red track behind it. Dirk couldn't help the smirk play on his lips as the grub wormed its way up his arm and trying to reach the humans shoulder.

"Hmm, you know what? We need to give you a name," the grub had finally reached the top and let out clicking sounds. "I'm tempted to call you Nibbles."

That earned a growl from the grub, which kind of surprised Dirk that the little guy actually understood what he's on about.

"Not a fan? Alright, umm…Rubin?"

Nope, the grub just hissed. It continued on like this till Dirk was fed up with how fussy the wiggler was being.

"Alright, fine. It's not like you can come up with anything."

The grub huffed (man, grubs are intelligent, even if they can't speak) and raised one of its tiny black legs towards the pen. Dirk got the general idea and walked over to the pen, where Dave was now playing with the blocks. The grub started climbing down the older Striders arm and was placed in the pen, it then scuttled over to the toy car where it then head-butted it and squeaked to grab the humans attention.

"Car? Your name is Car?"

The grub growled and then moved towards the plush cat that Dave had abandoned and squeaked again, this time, Dave glanced at the grub who only now knew was in the pen.

"Cat. Car-Cat?" Dirk raised an eyebrow, he should have expected it to be weird but this really took the cake (okay, it's not intelligent; this little alien thing is as a fucking genius. Weird, but still a genius).

'Carcat' began chirping and clicking happily as his new guardian finally figured out its name. The grub snuggled up against the plush and curled up ready for sleep until Dave crawled over and belly-flopped on top of the cat and wriggler, causing 'Carcat' to let out another screech.

"God damn it Dave." Dirk groaned as he lifted the infant off the crying Carcat, somehow Dirk knew life was going to get hectic from now on.

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**Sorry if this isn't that great, I'm completely winging this because I didn't expect myself to continue 0_o **

**...Actually I pretty much wing everything I do XD**

**also add sleep deprivation (again...I need to stop staying up so late) and that I was watching a youtube video of My Immortal read out by Karkat and Sollux had kinda made my brain rot (seriously that story is fucking terrible! though the guys voicing Karkat, Sollux, Eridan and Kanaya made it funny enough for me to keep watching XD) I need to stop torturing myself like that :V**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank ya'll for the faves, follows and reviews! **

**Honest to god, I never expected to continue this (purely because A - this was just a completely random spur of the moment kind of idea and B - ...I literally know jack shit about babies XD and researching it makes if difficult since they all develop differently to others) but what can I say, I like to entertain people :) though it would be much easier drawing (I draw much more than I write) but I'm not in the best of times to be drawing...not that writing is any better but it fools people into thinking I'm working! XD**

**okay, I'm boring you with my rambling so I'll stop**

**Chapter Three**

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Two months have passed since the grub had entered the Strider household, and there were quite a few changes. First, the spelling of the grubs name is now spelt with 'K's since Karkat looked much cooler than Carcat and like hell this little wiggler was gonna have an uncool name!

Dirk now knows what the hell Sopor slime was for when Karkat had reoccurring night terrors and the damn things body dried up and shrivelled like a prune after its second day, thankfully the gelatinous glop kept him calm and moisturised. Dirk couldn't afford a pod at the moment so he improvised by using glad wrap and a shoe box for the critter to sleep in.

Dave and Karkat…well, keeping them together was like putting a cat and dog in a very confined space. The usual scenario would be Dave babbling and Karkat hissing and screeching at each other followed by crying because he would hit the grub. The bloody thing was pretty sensitive and very deceptive, first it was being all cutesy and innocent when Dirk first brought him in (probably as a defence mechanism as Dirk was probably seen as a threat), now he's just a grumpy little bug who's either demanding attention or wants you to leave him alone. The damn thing just couldn't make up its mind, god help us all when the little bugger starts talking.

Actually, Karkat is in his foulest moods at the moment since he's began teething. First it was several sleepless nights of crying and screeching but in the end, the elder Strider just made it stay in its shoe box of slime a majority of the time, letting it out when he needed feeding, the toilet and just let it scuttle around for a bit of exercise. Irresponsible parenting? Probably, but it kept the angry grubs temper in order and gave Dirk time to look after Dave.

"Bro, Ba-ba!" Dave whined, Dirk who had been reading the newspaper lowered his reading material and saw his little brother struggle in the confines of his high chair to reach for his Sippy cup filled with juice. He cracked a small smile at how cute his brother was as he pushed the cup towards the infant and ruffled the pale blond hair as the baby began to guzzle down his fruity drink.

The morning was rather quiet; Dave had finished his drink and was moved into the lounge room where he would sit on Dirk's lap as they watched Sesame Street. Dave was always excited to see the red fluff ball that was Elmo, his childish giggling and hand clapping indicated as such. Dirk remembered the days when he was a kid and watching Sesame Street …back when Cookie Monster had cookies as an always food. Once the show finished, Dirk placed his brother in the playpen as he walked into his room to check the grub.

Walking through the messy room full of smuppets, clothes and other cool, manly junk, he reached his bed and pulled the shoe box from underneath. The box felt particularly light and once he could see, the box was missing a large chunk on the side, half of the green sopor slime and a certain red wriggler. There's was a strange groan and gurgling sound what was from under the bed.

Oh, that can't be good.

Dirk searched under the bed again, his hand patting the ground till he found something warm and slimy. He gripped it and pulled it out from underneath and held it in both his hands. Karkat had certainly grown in the last two months, now Dirk had to hold him in two hands; the little critter looked dazed and completely out of it, though his groan clearly meant that he had a stomach ache, especially since his mouth had the slime smeared around it.

"Oh shit." Dirk muttered, remembering from the troll selling the slim had said that the slime was not to be ingested since it acted like a drug. There wasn't a whole lot he could do but wait for the effects the wear off, though he had to admit, Karkat was kinda cute when he was completely dopped up and not being a complete pest.

Scratching the crown of his head, the drugged wriggler began purring and yawned. Dirk noticed a little tooth that had finally broken through the gums and he could see about 3 others that would be coming out at any time now. Well what do you know; they teeth quicker than humans, especially since Dave was now 9 months old and still had about 2 more teeth that needed to come through.

"Heh, you're pretty placid when you're like this, maybe I should have you on the slime more oft-"

Dirk was cut off by the grub coughing and hacking before he spat up a chunky red (and partly green) liquid all over itself and onto his hands, feeling the vomit ooze through his fingers, Dirk shuddered.

"Okay, that's gross little dude. *sigh* now I've gotta clean you up. Oh-oh god." Dirk hurried out of the room, trying not to let the red spew to drip onto the floor. "No-no-no-NO-NO-NO!" Dirk panicked as Karkat vomited again and was overflowing. Luckily, he made it into the kitchen before any of the bile dripped onto the carpet.

Dirk ended up dumping Karkat into the kitchen sink, almost instantly he turned the tap on to wash his hand clean. Karkat's head was flopping backwards and forwards, possibly still high from the slime that was still in his system, this made it easier for Dirk to clean the wriggler.

Well, until the grub started growling and sunk his only tooth into Dirk's finger.

Ouch!

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**I really dunno what to think of this :'D**

**just like everything I do, I just winged it**

**Hope you guys enjoy it**


	4. Chapter 4

**You people are terrible! I was kinda hoping this was just some random oneshot thing and yet you encourage me to continue! XD**

**Alright in all seriousness, thank you everyone who reviewed, faved and followed :D it's greatly appreciated 'n I would bro fist every one of you if there wasn't a god damn screen in the way...**

**Chapter Four**

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Dirk is tired, oh so tired. Taking care of Dave was a struggle enough being a single guardian, add a grumpy, fussy troll grub into it and you're absolutely knackered before noon.

Dave has started walking so chasing him around was energy wasted, along with both infants arguing and fighting over something silly as toy or just the fact that they really just don't get along in general. Karkat's gotten a few teeth through, so now he can bite back, not that he gets the chance to since Dave usually loses balance when he's standing and ends up body slamming or sits on the red wriggler.

Now that he thought about it, he hasn't taken the kids out for a stroll in a while. Maybe he just needs some fresh air and get out of the house for a while. Yeah, that sounds pretty good right now. With a bit of effort, Dirk pulled himself up from his seat in the kitchen and walked towards the closet that he kept the double stroller in and rolled it into the lounge room. First he grabbed some supplies (sunscreen, bottles filled with milk and water, toys) then he buckled in Dave since he didn't have the biggest problem with the sun, Karkat on the other hand has to be wrapped up tightly in a blanket and have a baby beanie (with holes cut out for his nubby little horns) so he didn't get too much sun exposure. It's kinda sad having to wrap him up like it's the middle of winter when it's still very sunny and hot outside. Once he had them both strapped into the stroller, they set out into the outside world.

The sun was certainly out, guessing around 37 degrees celcius. Karkat let out a whine of discomfort, can't blame him, the poor little guy must be roasting in his blanket. The streets were pretty busy, filled with people and trolls of various sizes (though most were taller than Dirk, but that's normal as they grow to ridiculous sizes). After walking around for about half an hour there was a loud panting noise coming from Karkat, Dirk thought that it would be a good time for a break so he kept going till he found a familiar café. It was a major relief when he opened the door he was blasted by the cool rush of the air conditioner. Dirk searched around the place till he found one of the comfy couches that was unoccupied, he walked over and flopped onto the cool leather seat, sighing as his hot skin made contact with the cool leather. Pulling the stroller closer, he unbuckled Dave and sat him on his left as he unwrapped Karkat from his blanket.

Little Karkat was still panting heavily, desperate for a cool drink. Dirk reached to the bottom of the stroller and grabbed a baby bottle filled with milk which he brought it up to the grub's lips which he latched onto the end and gulped down the white liquid greedily.

This was pretty relaxing. Getting out of the apartment and going for a walk in the sun was a great idea, finally getting some fresh air and a different surrounding, it feels good.

"Dirk Strider? Ohmigawd Dirk!"

Dirk looked up and saw a bosomy blond with a very familiar cat graphic on her shirt and had a baby sitting in a carrier strapped to her torso.

"Heh, sup Rolal?"

"Dirk, where the hell have you been?! You haven't been on Pesterchum in 3 months!" The girl threw her arms in the air before sitting on the couch, facing Dirk.

"Look, I've been busy an-...Roxy, are you sober?"

Roxy giggled as she unstrapped the baby from her carrier and nursed the little girl on her knee. "Yeah, the 'rents are out and like, I've gotta look after little Rose so they've hidden the booze on me."

"I never thought I'd see the day where you're sober and being responsible."

"HEY! I can be responsible 'n…what is that?" Roxy pointed at the little grub that was still drinking his milk in Dirks arms. "Ohmigawd, He's so cute! Are you babysitting or something?"

Dirk sighed, "Lalonde, you really think that I have the time to babysit when I already have enough trouble with Dave?" Speaking of the devil, Dave had begun climbing over Dirk's legs towards Rose, almost losing his glasses in the process. Dirk placed Karkat in one arm so he could scoot his little brother over towards the other baby. "Look, I found one of those Troll guardian things dead outside the apartment, found this little dude with it and I brought him in, so I guess I adopted him"

"Naw~ not only are you a big brother but also an adoptive daddy."

"No, Karkat will call me Bro just like Dave."

"Whatever you say, Papa Dirk." Roxy teased which only made Dirk frown as the name. "Can I hold him?"

"Go for it, just keep your fingers away from his mouth, little fucker's only got 4 teeth but it hurts like a bitch." Dirk warned as he removed the now empty bottle and handed him over the woman. Rose flopped off Roxy's knee and landed next to Dave, who began talking to the little girl with baby babbling.

"Awwwww, so ca-ute!" Roxy gushed as she gave Karkat a tight hug, causing the red wiggler to groan and spit out a small amount of milk that dribbled down his tiny chin.

Dirk had to reach for a napkin in front of the couch to wipe the milk off his face. "Careful Lalonde, he's a bit fragile."

Roxy sighed, giving him another squeeze before placing him onto the couch with the two babies as she began badgering Dirk about not being on Pesterchum.

Karkat glared at the two human infants, Dave glared back from behind his shades while Rose looked at the grub in curiosity. The grub growled at them both, bearing his nubby teeth when Dave challenged him by raising his chubby little arm in the air, ready to slap the wiggler. Rose stopped him when she babbled something; Dave dropped his arm and looked at the other blond who just stared at Karkat intently.

Karkat frowned at the new kid, already deciding he didn't like her, mainly on the fact that she was associated with the jerk with the sunglasses. He growled at the girl who didn't seem fazed at the threat and kept staring at him. The longer she stared, the more uncomfortable he felt and soon found himself skuttling away from the two human offspring's and retreated behind one of Dirks legs. Peering over slightly from the adult's leg to still find Rose staring at him, Karkat quickly ducked back and curled up between the gap of his guardians leg. Maybe if he stayed there, the creepy human girl wouldn't find him.

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**I'm not sure if I'm happy with this one or not :\ I think school stress is finally catching up, it's cool though since I've only got 24 school days left then I'm done for good!**

**God I wish it was 37 degrees Celcius (roughly 98-99 Farenheight), I'm sick of the cold! well, anywhere between 25-37 would be perfect~**

**Also, sorry bout Roxy being sober, I'm pretty sure that there will be a fair bit of drunk Roxy to come, I only did this as an introduction =P**

**okay, I'm off**

**Hope you guys enjoy**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sup :) How's everyone been?**

**Thank's to all the people who's encouraging me via Faves, Follows and Reviews!**

**I was hoping to get this up earlier today but I didn't get the time due to going to the hospital to have my wisdom teeth (all 4 of them...) removed. Surprisingly, I'm not in a WHOLE lot of pain, well there is a bit of pain but not as bad as I expected since I've already eaten a lot a couple of hours ago CB **

**I'm taking it like a real man unlike my older brother who was a grown man who threw the biggest Diva tantrum I have ever seen, and my older sister was couldn't even open her mouth for the first few days and was sore for about two weeks**

**Chapter Five**

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Today's the day Dave turned 1, and Dirk may have been a little too enthusiastic about the decorations. A sea of balloons, the ceiling was hidden by various colourful streamers and smuppets…smuppets everywhere. Okay, so Dirk may have gone a little overboard in excitement but can you blame him? His little bro is finally turning 1!

This could be rather interesting when the guests arrive and find out Mr Cool, Dirk Strider had decorated the apartment room as if a rainbow has vomited. If anyone asks, he'll just give the irony excuse, works every time.

"Alright little man, time to get dressed an…Yo, where'd you go?" Dirk said, looking around the floor for his little brother in the sea of balloons.

There was a low growl coming from the couch, looking in that direction, Dirk saw Karkat had awoken from his nap and seemed to find the colourful round objects as some form of threat. The grub let out a vicious snarl and its stubby little legs pushed his body off the couch as he leaped onto a green balloon and sunk his nubby little fangs into the rubbery surface. The balloon did not give into the weight and pressure of the grub's attack, which only edged the wiggler on to defeat his strange, round opponent. With a savage bite, the balloon finally burst with a loud 'POP!' gravity forced the grub to the ground with a light thud, Karkat's beady eyes widened in shock for a few seconds before he started crying.

Dirk would be lying if he said that it wasn't amusing, since he was trying (and failing) not to smirk or laugh but still being a (somewhat) responsible guardian, he picked up the sobbing grub and scratched the crown of his head.

"Heh, you're a weird little shit aren't you? Damn you're getting heavy." Dirk commented, Karkat began calming down and soon nuzzling into his guardians chest, stabbing him slightly with his nubby horns. "Now where's Dave run off to?"

His answer came from a loud pop from the kitchen. The loud sound caused Karkat to flinch and bury himself into Dirks chest even more. More popping as Dirk walked into the kitchen, it seemed Dave was enjoying himself while he decimated the balloons in the room while…Naked? When the hell did his nappy come off? Dave was giggling as he bellyflopped onto a red balloon, Dirk picked him up before the child managed to pop it and quickly moved to Dave's room where he put a new nappy on (with some difficulty, the balloon popping had hyped him up) and pulled his favourite red shirt on. By the time Dave was completely dressed, there was a knock on the door. Dirk placed the two infants on the ground to wonder around before he walked to the door of the apartment to welcome his guests.

Well, he would have if Roxy didn't flop on him the instant he opened the door. There was a troll also at the door, wearing her blue dress that matched her somewhat freaky eyes, (well the right eye was normal, the left was just creepy with its eight pupils) who looked rather worried and was holding Rose in one arm and two present boxes in the other.

"Ahh! I'm so sorry Dirk! I found Roxy like this so I had to get her here safely before she had the chance to run onto the road and get hit by a car!" the cerulean blood panicked.

Roxy began giggling as she tried to pull herself up, only to lose balance and end up back into Dirks chest "HARPY, no wait…HAPPY BIRFDAY DIRT…DERP…DIRK!"

Dirk raised an eyebrow at the inebriated woman still clinging onto him and glanced over to the troll who was looking even more stressed. "Calm down Aranea, I've got this. Just put the presents in the kitchen and put Rose with Dave then just chill in the lounge room."

The troll, Aranea, sighed heavily but complied to Dirk's suggestion. Walking into the apartment, she noticed the absurdly colourful decorations, "Umm…Should I even ask?"

Dirk just shook his head, about to say something before Roxy slapped her and in his face.

"Oh wow! I tink my drink was spocked…spiked," the girl looked around the room and then gasped. "OGM! Arachne, Dirk has adopted the cuttest lil' thing, umm, what's his name?"

"Err, you mean-"

"NO! Don't tell me, I've got this." The drunken girl shouted, stroking her chin while she was seeking for the answer, snapping her fingers when she thought of it.

"I GOT IT! HIS NAME IS WICKLPUFF!"

Aranea looked dumfounded and confused and Dirk was happy he had his shades on to hide his eye from twitching.

"It's Karkat."

"No, I remember you said Wicklpuff. Karkat's a ridiculous name."

As if on cue, the red grub had scuttled his way through the balloons and streamers, letting out a small cry, telling the grownups that he demanded attention.

"There he is! Dis is Wicklpuff!"

"AWW~ HE'S SO ADORABLE!" Aranea squealed, finding and placing the presents on a solid surface and Rose on the floor before picking up the grub and began making silly, clicking noises and other odd sounds that Dirk was familiar with. Karkat seemed to respond by making even more chirping and growling sounds.

"That's Karkat, I'd be careful if I were you, he has a nasty bite." Dirk warned, guiding his drunken friend inside and placed her onto the couch.

Aranea followed but refused to take her attention off of Karkat, "I will, and he's just so precious. Where on earth did you find him?"

"I found him with one of those animal things that looks after them."

"You mean a lusus?"

"Yeah, that. Anyway, those 'lusus' things were fighting outside the apartment and I tried chasing them off but one of them was dead on the steps and the other one was gone. I found Karkat with the corps, so I took him in."

"Poor bubsy," She whined a little and nuzzled the bright red grub body. "Has he been any trouble?"

"Well…Dave and Karkat don't get along but I just separate them and easy fix. The only real issue is his biting, they look nubby but he's teeth fucking hurt." Dirk glanced down and looked at the tiny scar on his finger after the sopor slime accident.

"Well, if you need any help, I'm always available," Aranea gave Karkat an Eskimo kiss before sitting him on the ground and let him scuttle away, surprisingly, less grumpy than he usually is.

"I'll have to take you up on that offer; you'd have a better idea than me, though I don't think I'm doing a bad job."

"You're doing fine, he looks very healthy, a little small from what I'm estimating his age is, but he looks perfectly fine."

Dirk smiled at the comment, "Thanks, you want a drink while we wait for the others?"

Aranea nodded and took a seat next to Roxy, who looked like she was either going to throw up or pass out. Better grab a bucket.

Rose had found Dave and were now crawling and walking around the room, cooing and giggling and having a blast. Karkat had collected several streamers and built himself a small cave in the corner which he was currently occupying, probably to hide from the much larger human children.

Dirk, brought himself back to his job of making tea for Aranea, coffee for himself and Roxy if she felt like drinking it, an empty ice-cream container for the drunk girl in case she vomited (He still needed to tend to cultural differences, so the bucket idea was scratched) and brought out a few small snacks before heading back to join the girls on the couch and distract themselves with stories while waiting for the other guests to arrive.

* * *

**I plan to continue the rest of Dave's party next chapter B)**

**I'm also gonna admit that I haven't double checked this yet, I'm currently on some heavy pain killers that's making me drowzy and I REALLY wanted to get this up...Don't judge me! I'm sleepy, a little sore and lazy!**

**So If anyone is kind enough to point out anything that's not right or needs editing (other than Roxy's drunken words and possibly Aranea being OOC...It's my first time working with a character like her ;A;)**

**Finally - FAWETWAGWTHSZA! WHAT IS IT ABOUT HOMESTUCK THAT MAKES IT SO EASY TO WORK WITH?! I'VE BEEN SPAMMING MY TUMBLR (Shezzalenko) AND DEVIANTART (FeralFighter) WITH FANART AND I KEEP GETTING OVER FOUR CHAPTERS IN FANFICTION! (I usually end up stopping there for unknown reasons 0_o) **

***ahem* Right, I'm off before I pass out and I end up button mashing hundreds of lines from my head being on the keyboard. I'll make sure to double check tomorrow and edit anything that I was stupid enough to put and leave in there**

**Night guys! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while, just life getting in the way and well...I've had a very emotionally tiring week since last Sunday a good childhood friend and old classmate was in a car accident where he suffered head and spinal injuries.**

**He died on Monday. He also saved 5 lives from donating his organs.**

**I've been strong throughout the week but earlier this morning we had a service for him, I ended up crying about 3 or 4 times...**

**Since he was MAD about football and other sports, the service was held at the football aval and we named the west goal posts after him :')**

**I just felt like I needed to inform you why I took a while to update :( Ah, hopefully I didn't bum you guys out!**

**Chapter Six**

* * *

John, Jade, Jane, Jake and Meenah arrived about half an hour later. Each of the adults had brought their own gifts and Jane had baked a cake for the occasion.

By then, Roxy had passed out, Aranea was in the kitchen corner, trying to bring Karkat out of his little streamer den, and Dirk was just sitting on the couch, a half-eaten biscuit hanging from his mouth as he nursed Dave and Rose on his lap.

"Sup beaches, the party has arrived!" Meenah announced as she strutted into the room. Jake and Jane both looked flustered as they followed the sassy troll.

Dirk raised an eyebrow at the royal blood and finished off his biscuit "You do realise this is just a kids party?"

Meenah just rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen without saying anything to see what the heck Aranea was doing.

"I'm sorry we're late, John had a bit of an accident on the way and Meenah was being…Meenah." Jane sighed as she sat the container holding the birthday cake she made on the coffee table.

" 'S cool, Areana had to drag Roxy's drunk arse all the way here." Dirk pointed to the passed out girl on the other side of the couch, mouth hanging open and a small trail of drool that just passed his lips.

"O-oh dear," Jane looked around the room, now noticing all the colourful decorations. "Umm, I think you may have gotten a little overboard with the decorations…"

"Nah! It's little dudes birthday 'n all."

Jane didn't pry any further into the matter, knowing Dirk will keep coming up with excuses.

"Strider! It's been quite a while!" Jake said in his usual jolly tone. Dirk smiled at his friend, extending his arm out for a fist bump.

"Sup?"

"Not a whole lot but I was informed that you've, umm, adopted?"

Dirk smirked at the question, "I guess you could say that."

As if on cue, there was a loud screech followed by a sound somewhere between crying in fear and screaming with rage. Meenah walked out of the kitchen, dangling Karkat upside down, the end of his grub body in her hand and glanced at the blond male. Areana rushed after her, insisting to the high blood to put the poor grub down.

"I heard you were raising a grub but I didn't believe it. Maybe I can have some grub sau-"

"No!" Areana squealed uncharacteristically and managed to yank Karkat out of the sea dwellers clutches and cradled the red grub protectively. Everyone in the room (with the exception of the sleeping Roxy) looked at the blue bloods outburst, of which she was slowly flushing a faint blue blush on her cheeks. "We are not turning sweet little Karkat into grub sauce!"

"Wait, you guys eat baby trolls?" Dirk asked, keeping his cool as not to show his bewilderment at the new fact.

"I was joking!...well, sorta. We only make grub sauce out of the grubs that end up culled." Meenah pouted.

"Oh my god, that's terrible!" Jane gasped as her hands flung in front of her mouth.

"Pfft, its survival of the finnest, the strong will live, and the weak become a glubbing fintastic delicacy." Meenah grinned, flashing off her shark like teeth.

The room was silent as the humans were horrified at the sea dwellers statement until Dirk broke the silence.

"Okay…Jane, got any ideas on what I should be doing with this party?"

"There's not a whole lot they can do other than play with their toys. Umm, I could make some play dough and maybe blow bubbles but that's all I can think of." Jane mused to herself. It was different for John's birthday since they live in a house where there was a sandpit in the back yard

"I'm sure we'll come up with something, have a puppet show with the toys, give them piggy back rides, I'm sure they'll love it!" Jake suggested.

"Those seem like great ideas, I'm sure the wigg-er I mean children would love it." Aranea chimed, placing Karkat with the other infants.

John seemed to have a fixation towards Karkat, which lead the dark haired, chubby baby to crawl and follow wherever the crabby red grub would scuttle, which only aggravated the wiggler enough for him to sink his teeth into John's arm. After a few waterworks, patching up the bitten arm and apologies from Dirk, they began preparing the activities.

Jake started off with mixing dish detergent and water, and twisting a bit of wire for him to blow bubbles. The kids ate that up, especially John and Jade when they popped the colourful, floating spheres.

During that time, Jane had started and finished making some homemade edible play dough where the very first thing Dave did when he was handed the yellow dough was shove it in his mouth. Rose was especially talented at making shapes especially for someone who was a little over one year old, and Jake had to find a way distract Karkat as his tiny grub legs weren't capable of moulding and playing with the dough.

Roxy woke up about 10 minutes after the kids were distracted with their edible toy and ended up helping Jane and Meenah make snacks. Dave and Jade basically wolfed down whatever their little arms could reach while John was being fussy and only ate a couple slices of banana but pigged out when the cake came out.

The adults took this time to sit down, eat and chat. Aranea, who was nursing Karkat who was nibbling on small broken up pieces of cake, was giving Dirk a few tips on how to raise Karkat such as when he begins to grow out of his grub stage, there will probably be a lot of screaming and advised that sitting him in water or sopor slime will help relax the grub a bit and relieve the pain he'll be going through.

Their conversation was cut short when Meenah swiped Karkat from the cerulean bloods arms. Laughing manically, the fuchsia blood tossed the grub up, almost slamming the poor screaming wiggler into the ceiling. Aranea looked like she was going to have a fit and started scolding the other troll while trying to pry Karkat out of the dangerous sea dwellers hands.

After that ordeal, they returned to entertaining the babies. They began a puppet show using whatever toys they could find. It ended up as some poorly made fairy tale romance, Meenah voicing the prince with Dave's plush cat while Jake did the princess with one of Jade's squiddles. It kept the kids distracted even thought they had no idea what was really going on other than Karkat who was completely enthralled in their crappy romance story. It was going well until Meenah got bored and threw the cat into Jake's face, causing the kids to laugh.

It wasn't long after that the kids fell asleep; all of them bundled up in one large blanket, cuddled together. Jane and Roxy cleaned up whatever mess was left in the kitchen while the others were sprawled out on the couches, just chatting about things such as work, reminiscing about the 'good old days' and just life in general. It was a about 4:10pm when everyone began to pack up their belongings and pick up their sleeping tykes before heading out.

"Alright, thanks a lot for coming guys." Dirk said as he held the door open for his guests.

"Not a problem old chap, it was a lot of fun and Jade really seemed to enjoy herself!" Jake beamed as he readjusted the small sleeping girl in his arms.

"It was good to have the gang all together. We'll have to catch up again sometime." Jane said as she walked out the door, followed by Roxy and Meenah.

"You can count on that, Crocker." Dirk called out as he waved them goodbye.

Aranea was the last to leave as she took noticed of the unopened presents on the table.

"Ah, I knew we forgot something," Dirk muttered to himself, Aranea seemed to snap out of her trance like state and gave a sweet smile to the older Strider.

"I guess I should get going then. I've wigglersitted a lot so if you have any problems or need tips, just give me a call."

"Will do, see ya." Dirk waved as the cerulean blood exited and closed the door behind her.

With an audible sigh, he headed to the lounge room and crashed on the couch in exhaustion.

Oh yeah, he's gonna sleep like a rock tonight.

Dirk turned his head a little and couldn't help but smile at possibly the most precious thing he's ever seen.

Karkat was cuddled up do Dave, who was hugging the grub like a teddy. Both looked so peaceful and cute when they weren't arguing in their baby talk. Now that he thought about it, they haven't fought all day.

Maybe there was hope for them after all.

* * *

**Sorry if this isn't as good as the others but considering what's happened...**

**On a brighter subject, I've finally gotten an Achiveofourown account! I've already posted this story on there, so it'll be great if you could support this story on there as well :)**

**Also, since I like interacting with my reviewers/readers/followers ect. and I've already done this with my other story - Who's your patron troll? what do you have in common with them?**

**Don't feel like your forced to answer, this is just for fun :)**

**Mine's Feferi~! I'm fairly similar to her personality wise since we're both usually happy and easily excited, though she act's like a princess (no shit) while I'm a total tomboy =P (Screw you, I'm a country bumpkin!), we also enjoy swimming :3**

**Anyways, hope you guys enjoy**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sup :D ****How ya'll doin'?**

**I've officially finished school and now preparing for exams for the next 2 weeks and University interviews but other than that, FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOMMMMM!**

**I should be studying but I'm a master in the delicate art of procrastination...no one take after my example.**

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

The piercing sound of screaming was what woke the Strider household at five o'clock in the morning. The screaming was clearly Karkat, he's the only baby he knew who had such a strong set of lungs on him. Unfortunately the screaming woke up Dave who began crying as well.

Oh god, not only was it way too early for this shit, it was also way too much effort getting out of bed… Urgh, they're not going to stop until he quiets them down. With a groan, Dirk slowly (and struggled) getting out of bed, stumbling a little as he stood on a smuppet on the floor. Tending to Dave first, Dirk dragged himself to the crib and picked up his crying baby bother. This is something that occasionally happens; one of them would start crying and would startle the other, triggering them to cry as well.

"Shhhhh, it's okay little man, I'm here." Dirk said soothingly as he began to bounce and rock the baby in his arms in his attempt to calm Dave down. It had taken a couple of minutes but eventually Dave quietened down, looking up at his guardian with tired eyes. Dirk couldn't help but smile as he laid Dave back into the crib; he grabbed the dummy that sat on the table next to the cot and placed the pacifier in his brother's mouth, which the baby sucked on slowly until he drifted back to sleep.

Now to take care of Karkat.

The little guy was just getting louder and louder (which was a miracle that Dave was now sleeping through it) and was probably the loudest he's ever been. In the corner of the room was now a large yellow tub that the grub was using as a bed, Karkat was wailing and screaming, and thrashing about violently. Dirk picked up the grub with a towel that was next to the tub and gave him a good clean before holding the grub in his arms.

There was definitely something wrong, his body wasn't normal; in fact it was hard, lumpy, expanded in size and there were small cuts and cracks that were secreting a transparent red ooze. Dirk scratched Karkat's special spot on the crown of his head that usually calmed the grub down, but unfortunately the pain was too intense for the wiggler to pay attention to.

"Shit." It was pretty clear that this is what Aranea told Dirk about a few weeks ago but he wasn't expecting this to happen for a few more months; even if he had no clue how old Karkat actually was.

Now what did she say to do when this started?...that's right, sit him in sopor slime or water. Seeing how the grub was in immense pain in the sopor slime, water was the next option.

With that idea in mind, Dirk walked to the bathroom and started running the taps on in the bathtub.

"Shhhh, it'll be okay buddy, just hold on."

The grub let out a particularly loud scream, rolled over and clung tightly onto Dirk's arm. Dirk could feel the tears fall onto his arm and the strange body fluid oozing out of the bright red body. With a sigh, Dirk squatted down to test the water; it was a nice warm temperature that shouldn't burn the grub.

"Alright Karkat, you're gonna need to let go," Dirk said as he tried to gently remove the grub, to no avail. The grub just seemed to cling on tighter and whimpered loudly. "Oi, c'mon, you're gonna have to let go. The sooner you get in, the easier this is going to be."

There was a loud cracking sound as the right side of the grub's body split open, Karkat let out his loudest screech yet. Fuck, the little guy was in a lot of pain and he's pretty sure if he didn't quieten him down, the neighbours are going to complain. There was only one option left that Dirk could come up with and that was to sit in the tub with Karkat.

With that in mind, he stepped into the bath and sat down, not caring that his boxers got wet, it's not like he didn't have others to change into when this was over. With his free arm, the adult splashed water onto his face to wake himself up a bit more before turning off the taps, and rested Karkat in his other arm against his stomach, keeping the grub's body sitting underneath the warm water.

Karkat eventually let go of Dirk's arm after several minutes and settled down enough to quietened down to loud whimpers. Occasionally Dirk would pour small amounts of water over the wigglers head, which helped tone down the noises, and would pick off any loose bits of the now hardened shell of the grub body, revealing soft, squishy grey flesh underneath, coated in a faint red plasma that diluted in the bathwater, turning the clear liquid slightly pink.

Dirk let out a yawn, starting to feel tired again from the lack of sleep and the warm water keeping him somewhat relaxed wasn't helping. Picking off a particularly large piece of shell which caused Karkat to yelp but seemed to calm down tremendously as the whimpers had started to get slightly quieter as time passed, or maybe that was just Dirk who was slowly nodding off and eventually falling asleep.

There was something lightly patting Dirks cheek, causing him to jump awake, wide-eyed and alert. It took a couple of seconds to realise that he fell asleep in the bath tub. There was another pat on his face, causing him to look down and see a familiar mop of messy black hair and large grey and yellow eye's staring up at him curiously.

"Karkat?" Dirk said before yawning, which in response, the now baby troll buried his face into the humans neck. Grabbing hold of the tiny troll, Dirk pulled himself up, legs weak from lying in the water for god knows how long and hissed when he stepped on a sharp piece of shell as he stepped out of the tub. Once Dirk was able to get his grounding with his week legs, Dirk held Karkat under the armpits and with a little difficulty, pried the troll off for an inspection.

He certainly looked like a troll now, with his yellow sclera, humanoid body (with the exception of the two strange growths on each side of his body where his middle grub legs were) and tiny yellow fingernails. He was actually kind of cute when he looked at out with his large, confused doe-like eyes but Dirk was a little concerned. He didn't look like he was at the age of 13-15 months, judging from his experience with Dave, he looked like he was only 11 months due to his size, and he was incredibly scrawny, not chubby like other babies are.

There was a pretty good chance that Dirk was going to give Aranea a call later today for a bit of advice.

* * *

**Sorry this is short, this was one of those times where I was dead tired but inspired late at night...**

**So, I figured out how to create side accounts on Tumblr, so I've been posting up the chapters on there. I'm going to be posting all the chapters on there first before and AO3, just to get in the habit of it (I'm trying to do that with my artworks before posting on DeviantART).**

**It would be great if you guys could support me through this blog, it's under the same username - Feral Fighter (I would post the link but this website has something against URLS...FFFFFFF!) Not forcing anyone, It's up to you but it would be awesome of you guys :)**

**anyway's, I'll shut up now**

**Hope you guys enjoyed!**


	8. Chapter 8

**G'day mates :)**

**So instead of doing the right thing and actually study, I have yet again bludged by drawing and writing...In all fairness, we have very little hopes for me.**

**I'll shut up now**

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

"I can see why you were concerned," Aranea started as she took a sip of her tea, "He developed a bit too early and he's malnourished, it's not very common but it happens to other grubs so he should be fine."

"That's good," Dirk sighed in relief as he bounced his leg that was nursing Dave. Karkat was curled up in a blanket next to Dirk on the couch, sleeping soundly after a long night of screaming and pain. "Since he was premature, will there be any problems?"

"Not anything severe, I know that low bloods tend to be a bit underweight after their metamorphosis, and because he's premature he'll probably have a weaker immune system and probably won't grow as tall as other trolls. There's nothing to really worry about, just make sure he eats more until he fills out and that he gets a lot of sleep, they tend to be very lethargic after growing out of their grub body since it takes a lot of energy out but give him a week and he'll be running around in no time."

Dirk couldn't help but smirk at that, now that Karkat will be able to run around (once he regains his strength) it'll be interesting watching him fight back against Dave.

"Speaking of low bloods, where would Karkat be on the haemospectrum? I know that dark red is basically at the bottom but I can't ever recall seeing any bright red trolls."

Aranea giggled a bit as she put her cup down on the table in front of her. "Sure you have, you even went to school with one. Remember Kankri?"

"Ah yes, Mr High-pants." His mind couldn't help but drift back to the days where said troll was so secretive about his blood colour. He wore nothing but the most ridiculous pants that reached up to his chest and was the only student who could actually go past the 10 minute limit whenever they had to read out speeches for presentations or assignments. Dirk lost count of all the times he pretended to be listening to the chatterbox troll when he actually had earphones in, listening to sick beats.

"Well, he's a mutant so his blood isn't on the spectrum. Back on Alternia and Beforus, Kankri would have been culled the minute anyone found out his blood colour; luckily Earth has much more freedom an-"

"Your point?" Dirk butted in; if he didn't there was a pretty good chance Aranea would have gone off in a tangent about how trolls came to Earth and the whole history about Alternia and Beforus, which he heard enough about during his history class.

"Oh! Anyway, Kankri's a bright red mutant blood; In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Karkat was from his genetic material, they look similar, especially with the nubby horns."

"Now that you mention it, they do look similar-Wait, what?!"

While the two adults were talking, Dave was squirming to get off his Bro's lap. He was bored and listening to words he doesn't understand wasn't fun in the slightest. Once Dave crawled off his brother's legs and onto the couch, his attention was now bought to the lump that was bundled up in a blanket. Whatever it was had a grey arm and it had the same face as the squishy red thingy that was always growling and hissing had.

With curiosity, the young infant crawled over to the sleeping creature. It certainly looked like the angry squishy red thing, but it didn't have an arm like the one sleeping in front of him. Extending his chubby arm, Dave poked the grey sleeping child on the nose, which only got a groan from the sleeping grey chid before stirring and burying his face up to the bridge of his nose.

Unsatisfied, Dave reached out for the bright nubs on the creatures head and rubbed his fingers on the brightly coloured horns. It didn't take long for a loud rumbling noise coming from the grey child's throat; the purring gradually got loud enough to stop the adults talking and look over to the cause of the noise.

"Well, ain't that adorable." Dirk couldn't help but smirk as Karkat began nuzzling Dave in his sleep, Aranea couldn't help but smile as well at the interaction of the two boys.

Karkat slowly opened his eyes and instantly stopped purring after being startled by Dave in front of him and jumped back slightly. Soon the shocked expression turned into a glare as he growled threateningly at the blond child. Karkat then began to squirm about until his right arm and both his legs were out of his blanked and sluggishly crawled over to Dirk and claimed his guardians lap and leaned his head on Dirks stomach as he tried to sleep again.

Dave persisted to bother the former grub by scooting over to Dirk and began poking the young troll. Karkat hissed as he twisted over to swipe his claws at Dave, who barely missed knocking the baby's anime shades off his face.

"Whoa Karkat, chill out!"

Karkat let out another growl at Dave before reaching up and loosely wrapped his frail arms around Dirk's neck, his glare never leaving Dave.

"Errr, Karkat?" Dirk asked, raising an eyebrow over his glasses as the youths grip tightened and his tiny yellow claws dug into his neck.

Aranea couldn't help but chuckle at the sight, "Well, it looks like he's become a bit territorial."

"You serious? Well, at least we're getting through the 'mine' stage early."

"Most wigglers don't have much or any interaction with others other than their Lusus, so Karkat will probably grow through the stages a little quicker or at least, at the same rate as a human young." The cerulean blood stood up and walked over to grab Dave who was about to persist in annoying his adopted troll brother, before sitting back down and tickling the baby's little pot belly and armpits causing Dave to squeal in laughter and thrashed about.

"You are seriously a natural with kids." Dirk commented, his head being pulled down by Karkat's weight hanging off him. There was a pretty good chance that the red blood probably fell asleep again and in the most awkward.

"Of course, I love kids! Their so full of life and innocence, and their just so fun with their creativity," Aranea paused to pull up Dave's shirt and blow raspberries on his stomach, causing the child to squeal even louder. "And just seeing their smile just warms the heart."

"They do have that effect on people." Dirk smiled as he reached around to try and pry Karkat's arms off his neck.

"I think I should head off, I've been here long enough. Be sure to call if you have any more questions or if any problems come up." Aranea stated as she sat the now overstimulated Dave on the floor and stood up.

"Yep, I'll keep that in mind. Just one last thing before you go."

"Hmm?"

"Can you help get him off?" Dirk said as he stood up, slouching from the dead weight that was the sleeping Karkat who was hanging off the adults neck. "Little guys got an iron grip."

The cerulean blood walked over to Dirk and grabbed hold of the tiny hands around his neck and tried to pull with no avail.

"He's digging his claws in." Dirk commented, trying his best to keep a stoic face while the small fingernails were stabbing into his neck like tiny knives.

With a slightly frustrated sigh, Aranea attempted to remove the clingy wiggler. This time, Karkat snapped open as his grip to go even tighter and pulled himself up to nestle his head against Dirk's neck to glare at the female troll. The wiggler began to growl menacingly while baring his nubby teeth, trying to look as threatening as possible.

"I don't think he's going to let go any time soon," Aranea laughed nervously under the young angry troll's gaze. "I'm sorry Dirk, but I'm gonna have to leave, I've got a few errands to run, along with a few babysitting jobs."

"C'mon, you can't leave me here wi-"

Aranea was out the door before Dirk could even finish his sentence.

Dirk was completely dumbfounded that Aranea, of all people, would bail on him. With a frustrated groan, Dirk moved into the kitchen while wearing Karkat like a tie to make some sandwiches. And maybe even take some pain killers to stop the headache that was slowly coming.

* * *

**Not overly happy with this one :\ Oh well, it happens**

**Wow, chapter eight...I honestly can't believe I've gone this far with what was originally going to be a oneshot. Eventually this story is going to end and I'm wondering if anyone would want a sequal of Karkat and Dave going through Kindergarten, School ect? (this is praying that I don't lose motivation and interest) I'm just curious since I'm pretty much making up this fic as I go and I don't know how long I'm expecting this one to go for.**

******Also, I've recently gotten myself a Pesterchum account under -feralisticBoomerang. Feel free to add and chat, I love meeting new people :D and don't worry, unless you piss me off, I wont bite.**

******Enjoy**


	9. Chapter 9

**Howdy folks**

**This was actually pretty quick to update :D apparantly Bliss n Eso, Poets of the fall and RED make great insperation music~**

**I'm hoping the next chapter will be up just as quick**

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

Four days down the track and everything seems to be a bit more relaxed. Karkat was a bottomless pit as he devoured everything edible he could get his mitts on (which was definitely showing as he isn't nearly as skinny as he was) and would spend a majority of the day sleeping in his tub of slime. It was actually good that Karkat was sleeping all day; it gave Dirk and Dave some overdue and much needed brotherly bonding.

"Alright little man, can you say 'Cal'? C-aah-llll?" Dirk asked as he lifted the puppet in his hand up in front of Dave.

"C…C…Ca-Ca!" Dave chirped.

"Not bad, little man," Dirk smiled as he ruffled the little blonde's hair, causing him Dave to giggle. His little brother may not have gotten it right but Dave seemed to see it as an accomplishment and that's all that mattered.

"BRO!" Dave squealed in delight as Dirks hand moved down to his brother's stomach and tickled him.

"That's right little man." Dirk's tickling became a lot more vigorous, making the young blond to laugh even louder until he fell onto his back. "Alright, I think it's about time for lunch, you hungry?"

Dave responded with clapping his tiny hands and giggled.

"Alright," Dirk started as he picked up Dave and pushed himself off the floor, "I'll get you some apple juice since I know how much you love that shit."

Dirk walked into the kitchen and sat Dave in his high chair before moving to the fridge, to make an awful discovery.

The fridge was completely empty.

"Shit, I didn't think Karkat would eat enough to clean the fridge out." Dave muttered to himself, glancing back to Dave who had picked up his sippy cup from the table and began banging it lightly on the wooden surface.

"Change of plans little man, we're going grocery shopping and I'll make sure to get you your apple juice on the way."

Dave tilted his head, only understanding that his guardian was talking to him and nothing else.

Dirk moved out of the kitchen to grab the stroller out of the closet in the hallway and back to the kitchen and strapped Dave in. Dirk then stalked into his bedroom where Karkat was still sleeping soundly, and very carefully picked up the troll and wrapped him tightly in a blanket without disturbing the sleeping troll.

On the first afternoon, Dirk made the rookie mistake of waking the troll, which led to Karkat lashing out and shredding a lot of the skin on Dirk's forearm. He could have gotten one of his neighbours to babysit but Karkat is incredibly clingy, and the only person he could think of was the guy living under him who's very friendly but also a walking hazard, so that was out of the question.

Once Karkat was safely bound in the blanket and strapped into the stroller, it was time to hit the streets. The sun was certainly out and it was warm, not quite that perfectly pleasant temperature nor was it overly hot. Dirk was pretty convinced that Karkat will probably wake up from overheating in the blanket, but right now he's still out like a light, so they'll cross that bridge when they get there.

The streets weren't as crowded as they usually are, since school has started up again and adults were at work, it was refreshing to walk without getting squished in a mob of people. Making a quick stop to a small Café at the corner of the street, Dirk bought a bottle of apple juice which he filled in Dave's sippy cup before letting his brother guzzle down the fruity drink. Dirk took this as a chance to get himself something to eat, so he ordered a sausage roll, along with 2 cupcakes for the tykes later on and sat at an empty table.

Karkat woke up a little before Dirk had finished eating, and began panicking when he found himself in a completely different environment by letting out loud whining noises.

"Hey, calm down Karkat, your big Bro is here." Dirk said as he moved his face into the infants view. Karkat seemed to calm down enough and made a few chirping sounds before he pulled strained face which soon turned into a grumpy one.

"You just took a dump, didn't you?"

Karkat huffed.

Dirk sighed, "Alright stinky, time for a diaper change."

Getting up from the table, he rolled the stroller into the disabled/change room where the grown up had unbuckled the red blood and sat him onto the changing bench to unwrap the troll from his blanket. Once free, Dirk began to rub one of the nubby horns on the baby's head, instantly making the tiny troll's eyes dilate, body go limp and began purring. It was a little trick he picked up when Dave played with them, it rendered Karkat completely harmless and it prevents him from lashing out and tear up his still recovering arm.

With Karkat being a pile of goo, Dirk made quick work of changing the soiled nappy, buckled Karkat back into the stroller and soon were off to the supermarket.

"Doritos…Chips…Ham…Chicken…Bread….Butter…Cheese…Coke…Apple juice…Pizza, what else?" Dirk muttered to himself as he picked the box of frozen pizza out of the freezer. There's no denying that Dirk has probably got the worst diet known to man but vegetables and fruit just didn't do it for him…nor did he really know how to cook.

"Alright I think that's everything." He said to himself as he dropped the box in the basket and headed to the self-serve check out. When he got to the check outs, he was a rather familiar face who seemed to be struggling with the machines.

"Heh, having a bit of trouble there English?" Dirk called out, causing the other male to jump slightly before facing him.

"Ah, Strider!" Jake chimed with a goofy grin on his face, causing a faint blush to dust Dirk's cheek.

It's a fact that Dirk often has women fawning over him, unfortunately he had other interests. Jake was the first and only person the older Strider has ever been smitten by when they first met in High School. Sadly, his feelings were unrequited when Jake went out with Aranea for a few months. Dirk holds no grudge against either of them, Jake is clearly straight, but at the very least they could still be best friends.

"You're still struggling with these machines?"

"Unfortunately, their just a tad fiddly is all."

"Alright, give it here, I'll show you how it's done." Dirk gave a hand gesture to tell the other male to pass him the box of cookies. Dirk then proceeded to press some of the select buttons on the touch screen and scanned the box, then placing it in the plastic bag on the scales and then grabbed another of Jakes items to repeat the process.

"-Then you press the button that says to 'Pay in cash' and put you notes in here, and the change and receipt should come out here. See, simple."

"Thank you, Dirk." Jake grinned as he placed the grocery bags under his own stroller that Jade was sitting in, completely oblivious to the outside world as she was only focused on her blue squiddle.

"Not a problem. Damn, Jade's getting big." Dirk commented. Sure it's only been a few weeks since he last saw the baby but they do grow fast.

"She has, and she can already say my name, Nana and Pop!"

"Well, she's doing better than Dave, he can only say Bro." the older Strider stated as he began scanning his own items

"Give it time, I'm sure he'll be able to say more." Jake laughed with another one of his silly grins and then turned his attention to Dave who was fidgeting out of boredom and Karkat who had fallen asleep again. "By George, Karkat has certainly grown! Though he looks a bit…underweight."

"Yeah, he grew out of his grub body a couple of days ago, and trust me when I say that he's filling out. The crazy little bugger cleaned out the fridge."

Jake raised an eyebrow but didn't question it. "You wouldn't happen to be busy right now, would you?"

"Not really. Why?"

"I was just wondering if you would like to join us to the pet shop, we've decided to get a dog."

"Sure, why not. I've got nothing better to do." Dirk said while shrugging his shoulders, "I'll meet you outside; I just need to finish paying for this."

"Right-o." and with that, Jake took hold of the stroller and headed outside the building, leaving Dirk to finish off his business.

* * *

**...Jake, why are you so difficult to write? ****I mean, I thought Striders were hard since I'm the complete opposite to them! We share the same sense of adventure but then our speech is very different, you talk like a gentleman and I talk like the country bumpkin I am XD**

**If people are getting hopes up about DirkxJake...I can't promise anything :\ I dunno, I mean the ship is cute but it's not one I'm overly in to (I ship Karezi, Davekat and Rosemary as my OTP's). Also despite the facts that I couldn't write romance to save my life (I'm a lot like Karkat...I get all my knowledge of that area from crappy movies my sister makes me watch and people in relationships XD), but what ever happened to just being friends? You'd be surprised how many times I talk to people, and someone I know will always say that I'm trying to hit on them (of both genders).**

**I just can't win *sobs***

**I'll shut up now**


	10. Chapter 10

**'Sup fellas**

**I am SO sorry I haven't updated in like, a month ;A; but you know what it's like at this time of year, everything piles up in one great big busy clusterfuck...So yeah, University interviews, Christmas shopping, work, watching Rise of the Guardians 3 times (I highly recommend it! it's a great movie! :D)**

**I really wanted to get this out earlier but whenever I had spare time, my motivation was dead or I was distracted with other activities such as drawing and video games...Playing Pokemon Nuzlocke's is a terrible addiction but it makes the game more challenging**

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

"So what possessed you to get a dog?" Dirk asked his friend as they walked down the street.

"We've been considering getting a pet for a while now, and it would be a great companion for Jade to play with. Haven't you ever thought about getting a pet?"

"Well, I've already got two other mouths to feed so I doubt I'll be able to support another one. Plus no animals are allowed in the apartment."

"Fair enough, maybe one day you'll move out and find a place that allows pets." Jake said as they turned the corner, the pet shop's door only a couple of steps away."

"Probably never going to happen, it's too much effort," Dirk sighed. Someone through the pet shop window caught his attention, causing him to squint his eyes through his shades to confirm his suspicions. "Is that who I think it is?"

"I think it is." Jake's eyebrows raised in slight surprise. Opening the door, the bell rang but the troll behind the counter didn't seem to hear it and continued to read her magazine.

The pair walked up to the counter and tapped the girls shoulder to grab her attention. When the troll looked up, her olive green eyes shined and began squealing.

"JAKE! DIRK! MOG! MOG! MOG! IT'S BEEN WAY TOO LONG!" the green-blood boomed with enthusiasm, causing some of the birds in the store to begin squawking and dogs barking.

Both boys simultaneously moved their pointer finger in front of their mouths and gave a loud 'shhh', while their other hand pointed down to the now sleeping children in the strollers.

"Oh," the deaf troll said in a loud whisper with a guilty look, "Sorry."

"It's cool Meulin, just try to keep your voice down." Dirk said which made the green blood perk up again.

"So what brings you guys here?"

"Well, my grandparents decided we could have a dog, for a playmate for Jade and something that'll keep her safe."

"Oh! Are you looking for anything in specific?" Meulin asked, her cat like smile grew till her teeth were showing.

"Not really, we're hoping for something that's known to be good around children and older people."

"Well, all dogs are like that, despite popular beliefs. Dogs like Pitbulls, for example, have a stigma about how they're such dangerous animals; the truth is that they're really nice pets who are good with children, and the only reason they attack is usually if they find you a threat or just bad pet ownership."

"Hmm, I know a lot of pets with bad tempers are usually due to bad owners but I thought it's also just their nature."

"There is that, but it's the owners' responsibility to keep them in check and make them grow up into knowing what acceptable behaviour is and what's not. Now if you guys could follow me." Meulin said as she began walking down past the aquarium isle which was filled with fish of bizarre shapes and many colours.

They came up to the back of the room, where there were large cages filled with different breeds of puppies. Some were jumping around in their cages; others were wrestling, sleeping or eating.

Meulin turned around and gave them a sweet smile, "Any taking your fancy?"

"There all nice looking pups but I'll let Jade choose," Jake leaned down and nudged the green dressed child awake. The little girl let out a yawn but didn't take long for her to perk up once she saw all the cute and cuddly puppies in front of her. "C'mon Jade, you need to pick your new puppy."

Jade let out an excited squeal, which roused the two sleeping boys, Karkat continued to sleep but Dave ended up staying awake.

Jake unbuckled the tiny girl who stretched out her tiny arms out for the many canines in their cages.

Meulin couldn't help but gasp at the tiny infant in glee, "WHY HELLO THERE CUTIE! YOU GET TO PICK YOUR OWN LITTLE POOCH!"

Jade was rather startled by the loud voice but was soon giggling as she brought her attention to a black and white fox-terrier that was jumping; his paws were planted on the bars and his tail wagging energetically.

Going passed each cage; Jade would either squeal in delight or pull a grumpy face in her decision for a pet. Coming to the end of one row, was a large, white pup that was jumping from side to side in its cage in its attempt for attention. Its attempt worked as Jade's green eyes widened while she squeaked in adoration and thrashed about in Jake's arm.

"Jake! Puh-Puh!"

"Oh, you like that one, Jade?"

The little girl giggled as she reached her arm out to pet the hopping bundle of fur.

"Alright then….Meulin, what breed is this?"

"That's a White Shepherd; it's a type of German Shepherd. If you want, I can let it out and see if it's really what you want."

"That would be great!"

Meulin reached for the strap that was around her neck and pulled it over her head and revealed keys that were hidden under her shirt. The green blood flicked through the keys until she found the key that belonged to the dog cages, which she inserted into the lock, opened the cage and picked the dog up before carefully sitting it on the ground.

Dirk couldn't help but whistle in awe as he squatted down to take a better look, "That's a pretty handsome dog she picked out."

"No kidding; strong, sturdy build, soft fur, and he's going to grow rather large and they're a breed known for guarding, that's perfect!" Jake said as he was inspecting the white pup on the floor with one of its paws in his hand and giving it a squeeze.

Jade began squirming again in Jake's other arm as she reached out. The pup caught onto what the child wanted as it removed its paw from the older male and moved towards the tiny female where he sniffed her chubby hand before nuzzling into it.

Jake let out a chuckle as he moved Jade in his arms and placed her on the floor, where the infant was able to interact with the puppy. Jade let out another squeal as the white dog moved from nuzzling her hand to licking her face; in response, Jade wrapped her small, chubby arms around the pup's neck and began cuddling it.

Jack cracked a grin as he turned to Meulin. "I think we'll take this one Miss Leijon." Jake's words literally fell onto deaf ears as the cat-like troll was far too distracted from forcing herself to not have one of her moment's where she would squeal uncontrollably over the adorable site in front of her.

"Ah…Meulin?" Dirk asked as he started clicking his finger's in front of the olive bloods face, which helped her snap out of her trance.

"Oh! sorry, where you saying something?"

"We'll take it."

* * *

**I'm really not happy with this one :/ I struggled a bit, but I found the perfect breed for Bec! Seriously, look up White Shepherd's and tell me that's not the perfect breed for Bec!**

**What really annoys me the most was that I took so long to update this (but like I said, I've been busy) because I really wanted to get a Christmas story out for this ;_; Maybe I can whip something up tomorrow on Christmas day or be a little late but wanted one ready for the day...*sigh* I'll see what I can do but I can't promise anything.**

**_HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE_********_:)_**


	11. Chapter 11

**Oh man do I suck :'D**

**Hey guys! Remember when I said I'd try and write a Christmas special? Well, it turns out that I had no spare time for that whole week _ Plus this Month has been hectic due to finding out I got into my University course (HELL FUCKING YES!) and just working out accommodation since I'll be moving out of my tiny country town (well, apparently we're not a town anymore because we have a population lower than 200...fuck the government, we're still a town damn it!) into the big city of Melbourne. To be honest, I'm trying not to shit myself because this will be a huge change for me, I've only got about a week or two before I have to move out :/  
**

**But to any of my readers from Melbourne, Hi there! :D You'll know it's me when you see some idiot constantly almost getting hit by vehicles or see a newspaper article called 'Country bumpkin hit by tram!'  
**

**Anyways, thanks to everyone for the lovely reviews :) I'm sorry the last one was just filler but...I have no excuse, I just suck.  
**

**Chapter Eleven**

* * *

Today seemed very pleasant, especially for Houston; a perfect day to take the boys out for some sunlight and socialize.

Both boys strapped, Dave playing around with Cal, the puppets head flopping backwards and forwards every time Dave would shake him in his little hands. Karkat, who has become a bit of a guzzle guts lately, was contently drinking away at his milk bottle. The little tucker has filled out nicely; give him a few days and he'll be at a reasonable weight in no time. The only real concern is that Karkat refuses to talk, only communicating through growls, clicks and the occasional screech; from what Aranea and the numerous websites Dirk has been on, all grubs start talking shortly after their first pupation.

It's become a common occurrence of seeing people give Dirk a strange stare whenever he takes the boys out for some sunlight, probably because it's a strange sight to see someone always walking around with not only a baby but another one of a different race. Dirk doesn't take much notice of them, Houston's a big city, most people don't know him so why should he care what strangers thought of him.

Their little adventure ended up taking them to a park, which seemed pretty popular today; can't blame them for taking advantage of such a nice day.

"Alright guys, time for a little stretch." Dirk said as he stopped in the shade of a large tree, and proceeded to unbuckle the two little boys and sat them down on the grass.

"BRO!" Dave chimed as he dropped Cal, pushed himself onto his feet and plodded around in circles, giggling with enjoyment.

Karkat clung onto Dirks pant leg to balance himself, still trying to get used to walking on two legs. Once he deemed himself stable, he let go of his guardians leg and let out happy clicks as he (awkwardly) walked around.

Dirk placed himself on the grass beneath him, watching his charges walk around, roll on the grass and wrestle each other. It's hard to believe how much they've grown in such a short time; Dave couldn't do a single thing without Dirk other than cry and make a mess of his nappy, and Karkat was no bigger than the size of his palm when he found him.

Noon soon approached, both boys were sitting on the ground waiting to be fed.

"Alright, here ya go little man," Dirk said as he passed Dave his Sippy cup full of apple juice.

"Appa ju!" The tiny blond squealed as he began to drink the yellow drink.

"That's right Dave, Appa Ju," Dirk smirked as he rummaged the bag that was under the stroller for the other cup filled with milk. "And for the coolest little alien around."

Karkat took hold of the cup and smiled before he started sculling his drink.

Dirk helped himself to a bag of Doritos and just relaxed in the shade of the tree till the little tykes had finished their drinks, which they were then fed some mashed banana. After eating, both boys nodded off and fell asleep curled up on the adults lap. Carefully, Dirk was able to pick them up and buckled them back into the stroller without waking them up and started walking home.

The trip to the park certainly put the older Strider in a good mood, he'll have to bring them to the park again; and he can't wait till they're old enough to play on the playground.

As he turned a corner he met up with 3 teenage girls; all three of them had stopped what they were doing and looked like lovesick puppies as they stared at him, which was making Dirk feel very uncomfortable.

"Umm…excuse me, could you girls move out of the way?"

The girls snapped out of their stupor as the tallest and shortest moved out of the way for him, while the other just kept staring at him.

"Oh my god, YOUR HOT!" The girl squawked, which actually made Dirk jump slightly at the volume and pitch of her voice.

"Err, thanks?"

"Oh my god, you have babies!" the shorter one squealed as she moved in front of the stroller to look at the tiny passengers; the other girls let out an 'aww' as they joined their friend.

"Look at this little guy, he looks just like you!"

Dirk cracked a little smirk at the girls, 'that's my little brother, Dave."

"Aww he's so cute! I wonder what the other loo-oh mY FUCKING GOD!" the loud girl boomed which startled Karkat awake.

"Is-is that a troll baby? EWW!" The tallest one gagged at the sight of the grey skinned alien.

"Oh…wow…it's ugly, just-just yuck."

"Oi, what the Hell!" Dirk growled at the teenagers as they gave little Karkat looks of disgust.

"Trolls are fugly, I don't know why we have to share a planet with them!"

Karkat seemed to understand the situation and growled at them.

"Is this thing retarded, I thought they were smart enough to talk." The short one sneered.

"FFFFFFFFF!"

After hearing that sound, Dirk drew his attention to Karkat, eyes wide in anticipation; will this be the moment he says his first word?

"Pfft, what the heck is it doing?" the one with the loud voice sneered.

"FFFFFUUUUUU….FFUUU!"

…I-is he going to say what Dirk thinks he's going to say?

"Oh wow, ugly and stupid."

"FFFFFF….FAT!"

Dirk quickly moved his hand in front of his face as he tried not to bust out laughing. That was probably the last word he'd expect Karkat's first words to be and he almost thought his first word was going to be a swear for a moment.

"FAT FAT FAT!"

All three girls looked at Karkat with a horrified expression, eyes wide and mouths gaped open.

"Well, I think it's about time I leave you 'fatties' alone, I hope I don't see any of you again you racist pigs." And with that, Dirk pushed forward, leaving the girls completely quiet and speechless.

It was when they got back to the apartment that Karkat began crying.

"Shhhh Shhhh Shhhh, its okay little man," Dirk hushed as he unbuckled the wiggler and brought him to his chest to hug him, allowing the tiny troll to cry into his shoulder. "You did well, you did really well. You managed to shut those mean girls up."

Karkat's grip tightened as he began trembling.

"Don't believe what they say, you're a Strider! You're too cool to put up with people like them and soon you'll have girls, or guys, fawning over how hot and awesome you are!"

Karkat seemed to settle down and began nuzzling into Dirks neck and let out a few chirps before going limp.

Dirk let out a tired sigh as he moved the stroller into their bedroom and proceeded to strip Karkat before placing him in his slime, and then moving Dave out of the stroller and into his cot.

When he left the room and into the kitchen to make coffee, whatever rage he built up was beginning to seep out. He's absolutely furious at how horrible those girls were behaving. Dirk could deal with racism since it's a very common thing to see in the city, but to pick on a defenseless baby?! God, Dirk was tempted to punch one of them in the face, not only did they insult Karkat in front of him, but he made the little guy cry. What those girls did was unforgivable. Dirk could just…just, urgh! He really needs some coffee.

* * *

**I had this up yesterday morning on Tumblr since I was away and only had access to Macca's wifi which is not only slow as all fuck, but fanfiction is also blocked...I've got a system to upload on Tumblr first so if you want to read newer chapters earlier, feel free to follow either of my blogs which can be found through my profile (pfft sameless self advertising!)**

**Alright question time! **

**Anyone knows what their God Tier is?**

**I am the Knight of Space! I've taken another test which got me Maid of Space (so I'm destined to be a space player) but I found a test that goes more in depth psychologically and I ended up getting Knight. This title bloody contradicts itself since the Space players are probably the most important one to have on your team to create the new universe; but as a Knight, It's my job to protect the other players (and is the class that dies the most)...hmm, If I were to be the graceful person that I am and fall down a flight of stairs and managed to get in the way of a bullet that was going to hit an innocent old lady, would that count as a heroic death? XD  
**

**Pfft, I'll stop now, I've left this to almost 2am to upload this and I'm absolutely knackered from such a long week. I'll upload this chapter to my AO3 account when I wake up  
**

**Good Night everyone U_U ...zzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**FFFFFF!**

**Sorry for being not updating in about a month D:**

**Just had a lot of things going on, namely moving to Melbourne, living alone, and starting my TAFE course. I'm not very use to the city life yet and still very unfamiliar of places but I'm still having fun! Met some awesome people who I can nerd with about Anime, Movies and shit B). Still kinda waiting for homesickness to kick in, but I'm starting to think that it might not even happen, probably because mum is constantly texting me (I love her but she's so overbearing...I think someone's developed empty nest syndrome)**

**Alright, that's enough of boring you with my life details**

**Chapter Twelve**

* * *

"I'm sorry I had to push this onto you so suddenly, Aranea." Dirk said as he handed the cerulean blood Dave, while Karkat was clinging onto his neck, refusing to let go.

"It's perfectly fine, Dirk. It's very important to do well with your interview if you want to support yourself and the boys." Aranea said as she adjusted Dave in her arm. "Now remember to speak clearly, be confident and dress respectably. First impressions are everything when you're applying for a job."

Dirk let out a chuckle, "C'mon now, who do you think you are, my mother? Alright, Karkat, time to let go."

"NO!" the troll growled stubbornly as he clung tighter to his guardian; his tiny yellow claws were digging into the back of Dirk's neck, causing the older male to hiss.

"What's wrong with Karkat?"

"He was attacked by a bunch of teenage girls last week; nothing physical, just insulting him with racist comments. He's still pretty upset about it and he's been pretty clingy since."

"That's Terrible! The poor thing."

"If they weren't young girls, I probably would have thumped 'em" Dirk groaned as he attempted to pry his living necktie off him. "C'mon little man, I've gotta get going. It's not going to be too long."

"NO!"

Aranea sighed as she lifted her hand and tilted Karkat's head towards her. "Come on sweetie, time to let go and let big brother Dirk go to his interview." The cerulean blood then moved her hand above his head and began rubbing the tiny candy corn nubs. Grey eyes dilated to the point where the yellow sclera was almost gone, and the tiny body went limp; releasing Dirk from his grip.

"Gotta love that little trick."

"It is very useful, though it can also be bothersome," Aranea sighed with a rather discontent expression as she pulled Karkat out of Dirks arms. "Nothing's worse than hitting your horns on something."

Dirk smirked at the comment; knowing full well that a troll banging their horns hard on something is the equivalent to a guy getting kicked in the balls, or a girl going through her period. The human brought his attention to the watch on his wrist to see how much time he had for his interview.

"Shit. Alright I've gotta get going. Thanks a lot Aranea for looking after them for a bit, I already know you've got a few others to look after but it's greatly appreciated."

"It's fine Dirk, I've baby-sited 8 wrigglers at the same time with no difficulty, so 5 is no problem."

"If you're sure…fuck, alright I'm going. I'll call when I'm on my way back."

"Alright, good luck" Aranea chimed as she watched the male moved to the door of her hive and exited. Once Dirk was gone, the cerulean blood moved into the lounge room where three other tiny trolls were sitting inside a play pen and placed Dave and a still partly doped out Karkat inside before heading into the kitchen.

The three little trolls ceased their activities and looked at the two newcomers in interest. The two male trolls both just stared at Dave, while the female crawled over to the still disoriented Karkat. When Karkat was focused enough to realise what was going on, he jolted up and shifted away from the other infants.

Dave didn't seem to care what his adopted brother was doing, and was more focused on the other trolls, they seemed more interesting purely on the fact that they had bigger, fancier looking horns. One was a really chubby monster, with wild hair with wavy horns; the other had funny looking things sticking out from the sides of his face and had similar horns but much more jagged. The female troll, who was currently stalking Karkat, was behaving like a kitten; bright eyed and curious.

Karkat let out a growl, bearing his tiny teeth to look intimidating; the girl just responded with a plank expression before flashing off her fangs with a large smile. Karkat let out a squeal in fright, quickly crawling over to Dave for some form of protection, leaving the other two troll infants to giggle in amusement

It wasn't long that Aranea returned with five bottles of warm milk in her arms, which she places on the coffee table so she could pick up the tots from the pen and placed them on the couch where they sat and drink their beverages once handed to them. While all of the little wigglers complied with no problems; Dave was being much more difficult.

"Come on Dave, drink your milk."

"NO! APPA JU!" Dave shouted loudly, which startled the funny cheeked boy, instantly becoming teary eyed.

"Dave, please; you just upset Eridan." Aranea sighed as she tried again to get the blond to hold his bottle and drink, with no avail. With another sigh, the cerulean blood decided to leave Dave to his own devices for now and brought her attention to the now crying boy, Eridan.

While the babysitters back was turned, Dave scooted himself off the couch and began plodding his way around the house in search of his beloved yellow elixir. The three other trolls, being much more behaved, continued to drink their milk.

"Shhh Shhh Shhh, its okay Eridan, everything's okay." Aranea hummed as she rocked the diminutive sea dweller in her attempt to soothe the crying boy. It was no surprise that her method worked, as Eridan's crying ceased and was replaced with chirps as he tugged onto the blue bloods blouse.

With a small smile, Aranea placed Eridan back on the couch and handed the sea dweller his bottle before bringing his attention to the other trolls. The large wiggler, Gamzee, had nodded off at some point, while Karkat and the female, Nepeta, were still consuming their drink. From there, Aranea brought her attention to Dave an-

…Where was Dave?

As if on cue, there was a loud clatter coming from the kitchen; startled, Aranea quickly made her way to the kitchen to investigate, leaving the other tiny tots alone on the couch.

Karkat had finally finished his bottle, which was quickly abandoned on the side of the couch. The nubby horned troll searched around the room for something of interest, which was found on the coffee table. With some difficulty, Karkat managed to push himself off the couch, where he walked over to the table and picked up a book. Tilting his head slightly, Karkat plopped himself on the ground and began to bang it on the floor.

"Dave, you need to stop being so difficult." Aranea sighed as she carried the human, a bottle of apple juice in hand, which Dave was chugging down in haste. When she walked into the lounge room, the cerulean blood was surprised to see Karkat on the floor, playing around with a book in his tiny hands.

"What you got there, Karkat?" Aranea asked as she bent down for a better view of what book was in the mutant bloods clutches. Her expression quickly turned from curious, to shocked; her face turning blue in embarrassment as Karkat hugged her unread volume of 50 shades of grey. "K-Karkat, I think you should hand that over."

"NO!" Karkat snapped, hugging the book even tighter and tried to muster up the most intimidating glare he could make.

"It's just a boring book and I'm sure you won't li-"

"NOOOO!"

"Umm…H-how about I read a bit to you, will you give me the book then?" Aranea stammered, her blush deepening at how humiliating this situation is. Sure Karkat will forget about it the next day, nor will he understand, but it was still awkward reading a raunchy novel to an infant.

With a squeal, Karkat practically thrusted the book to his babysitter, who plucked the book from his little hands and picked him up. Placing herself on the couch, Karkat sat on her lap to get a better view; Nepeta grew curious and leaned on the older trolls knee, Eridan and Dave stayed perched where they were but were focused on the adult while Gamzee was basically dead to the world.

Oh how Aranea hopes that no one finds out about this.

* * *

**Just to make things clear, I've never read and never plan to read 50 shades of grey. Namely because I don't read that crap, and due to Team 4star reading a sex scene from the book in their characters voiced at the 18+ panel at Manifest last year _ hilarious but scarring.**

**Now on an actual relate relatable topic, I'm expecting there to be two chapters left for this fic. Considering that this was meant to be just a oneshot, which got a really good response that encouraged me to continue, I think I did a decent job with pulling chapters out of my arse on a story that wasn't planned through (which is why there's probably a shitload of inconsistencies XD). I did say that I'd probably make a sequal, which I still might do (hoping I still have the motivation), So I'm gonna put a poll up as soon as I submit this, I imagine it'll focus more on Dave and Karkat, if you have any other ideas that's not on the poll or ideas for future chapters, feel free to message me ;)**

**I'm actually kinda excited that this'll be the first multi-chapter fic I've ever finished~ as long as I don't get boared and ditch it at the last minute XD don't worry guys, I'll try my best to finish this.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Well...This was rather quick to update 0_o Think this might be my quickest update for this fic (or not, I dunno, my memory is shocking)**

**So yeah, I was about ready for bed last night and then BAM! shot with a bullet of inspiration and got it all done in one go! This has never happened, usually I struggle for a few hours and takes a few days to get a chapter, so sorry if this seems a little filler-ish but just let me have my moment, I doubt this'll happen very often again.**

**Chapter Thirteen**

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Outside the office room, Dirk was waiting on one of the seats, along with a few other men who were also applying for the same job. Dirk wasn't worried, he's a Strider for Christs sake, Striders aren't nervous on such small things like this…even though he really needed this job to feed to boys and himself…and pay rent for their apartment…and pay the electricity, gas and water bill.

Okay, maybe he's a little nervous.

After waiting impatiently in the waiting room for about 20 minutes, the office door opened where two men walked out; both well dressed in their suits. Dirk pulled a discontent expression from the fact that he was also in a suit. He hated wearing suits, their just too formal for Dirks taste and god was his itchy; the older strider was trying his hardest to not scratch himself.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr Mason." One of the men, who must have been the interviewer, stated as he shook the other man's hand. "We'll be sure to contact you about your results."

"Thank you very much for your time, Mr Scratch." The other man said as he finally let go and began to leave the building. Scratch moved back into his office again, probably to prepare himself for the next interview.

Great, more waiting.

It was another 10 minutes before Scratch opened the door again, a file in his hand. "Mr Strider?"

'Finally' Dirk mentally sighed as he stood up. He did a quick stretch to relax his muscles before walking into the room where he was greeted by Mr Scratch.

The most noticeable features on this man were his incredibly pale skin and his surprisingly shinny bald head.

"Please take a seat Mr Strider." Scratch gestured to the seat in front of his desk. Dirk complied and took his seat, straightening up to try and look as professional as possible."

Scratch took his seat on the other side of the desk, taking a look at a few papers that were on his desk, most likely the resume and other little papers that Dirk had to submit. Scratch glanced up before smirking, "Relax Mr Strider, this is just a simple interview, not an interrogation. There's no reason for you to be so stressed."

It was right after Scratch had talked that Dirk realized how stiff and tense he was. Taking a deep breath, he relaxed as he exhaled.

"First interview, huh?"

"Umm, yeah." Dirk couldn't help but chuckle, he was subconsciously getting worked up over nothing.

"Alright Mr Strider, let's begin. Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

* * *

By about 4pm Aranea's phone went off. All of the wrigglers had dosed off during the story, with the exception of Karkat who just persisted on having Aranea to continue reading the trashy novel. She was really hoping to enjoy this book in her alone time, not read it out to children. With a sigh, Aranea handed the book over to Karkat who clung onto the book as if his life depended on it, and made her way to the kitchen to answer the phone.

"Hello?" The cerulean blood answered.

" Sup Aranea."

"Oh Dirk." Aranea sighed tiredly.

"Jeeze, If I knew you were going to be like this, I wouldn't have called."

"Sorry, I'm just…I'm just a little tired, that's all."

"Boys been a handful?"

"A little, Dave wouldn't drink his milk, which by the way, should not be replaced with apple juice," Aranea stated sternly, which got her a chuckle from the other end. "And Karkat's been making me read him a book."

"You're tired over a book?"

"A novel actually, we're already 3/4th's of the way through."

"Ouch. Well, I'm on my way back right now; I'll probably be there in about half an hour."

"Alright, see you then."

"Right-o, see ya." And with that, the conversation ended.

With a sigh, Aranea placed her phone back onto the charger and walked into the lounge room where she was surprised to see that Karkat finally dropped. The older troll walked over to the couch and very carefully removed the book successfully from the tiny wigglers clutches. Karkat let out a tiny whimper before sleep fully kicked in.

Placing to horrid book back on the coffee table, Aranea moved back into the kitchen to make herself some tea, and just relax until Dirk arrives to pick up the boys. Time seemed to fly as there was a knock on the door. Pulling herself up from the table, the cerulean blood made her way to answer the door.

"Jeeze, I didn't think that the boys would be that bad, you look absolutely frazzled."

"Oh no no, I admit they are a bit more demanding than any of the other's I've ever had to work with, but they were still good."

Dirk shrugged, "Well, if you say so. I'm just gonna take the boys and leave, how much do I owe ya?"

"About $40." Aranea said casually.

Dirk whipped out his wallet and handed the female troll her money before pocketing his wallet and letting himself in.

He found Karkat on the couch, completely dead to the world. He picked up the tiny troll and took a quick glance at the coffee table where a certain object caught his attention.

"50 shades of grey Aranea, Really?" Dirk commented.

Aranea gasped in horror as she turned a very dark shade of blue in embarrassment. She power walked into the lounge room and swiped the book off the table and tried it behind her back.

"I know you like these trashy romance books but really? You know it's just a shitty Twilight fanfiction that somehow got published. Kinda ironic that they're equally as bad as each other."

"Do-don't you have somewhere else to be?!" Aranea squawked, turning as blue as her blood.

Dirk couldn't help but laugh, "Easy there Serket, I'm just stirring ya. Where's Dave?"

"I-in the play pen."

Dirk sauntered over to the pen where he picked up Dave with his free arm and decided to take a look at the other tykes. There was a little girl troll who was curled up and letting out tiny purrs. There was a sea dweller rugged up in a yellow blanket; the fins on the side of his face would flutter as he breathed. And finally the last – WHOA! Dirk was absolutely caught off guard by the last one; he was a big chubby fella, and Dirk didn't think it was possible for a baby to get that big but just looking at him was just –wow.

Aranea walked up and glanced down at her temporary charges, "That's Gamzee, he's pretty big for his age."

"That is an understatement."

"He's a purple blood so he will grow into his baby fat, they're known for their big build."

"Huh…Alright, I better get going before the boys wake up. Thanks a lot Aranea."

"No problem, just promise me you'll feed Dave more milk otherwise he's not going to grow."

"…I can't promise anything." That little quip earned an elbow to the ribs, "Oww, alright I'm going, I'm going." Dirk laughed as he headed for the door, but paused before he exited. "By the way, if Karkat grows up liking those trashy novels, I'm permanently leaving him in your care."

One flying book to the head dodged and Dirk was gone, and all Aranea could do is bury her face into her hands. Oh god, she could just die from embarrassment right now.

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***GASP* Holy shit, one more chapter to go! This is a fucking milestone...actually getting past chapter 4 (which I've always struggled with in any fic) was a milestone for me, but to actually finish a fic feels unreal.  
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**Alright guys, I REALLY need you to read below this, I've got a few things to ask.**

**So, on AO3 someone suggested that if I do a sequel, that I should do requests. Despite that I can't believe I never thought of that, I thought that it might be a really good idea because I'm sure everyone has good idea's they would have loved to incorperate into my fic and I'm letting you guys have the chance to do so! (Also, it'll do wonders if I hit a writers block when it comes to ideas =w=) anyway, Yay or Neh?**

**Also, please vote on my Poll on my profile, I wanna know what age group you want Dave and Karkat to be. If I don't get anything, they'll be kindergarteners by default**

**And finally (okay, this one can be ignored if you like) One final interact with my readers question!**

**Alright so apparently your patron troll isn't the same troll you share your sign with (because for example, John would have had Aradia instead of Vriska) to figure this out you use the day and month you were born. So my birthday is March the 14th, so then you add up each number (3+1+4=8) therefore, my patron troll is Vriska! I feel a little comfort in that because I know she can make me God Tier but I think that all depends on if she likes me or not XD**

**If you're result is over 12, you start all over again so 13=Aradia, 14=Tavros ect.**

**Yeah, sorry if I just confused you guys even more but hey, these things are fun and I like to see what people get :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**This is it, the final chapter**

**I am SO sorry I took so long to update, just life getting in the way and a bit of a lack of inspiration and motivation ehehe...At least I got it done!  
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** I'm really stoked that this is my first ever completed multi-chapter fic, but I'm nervous that I didn't end it too well ;w; I guess it's just because this is a first time thing.**

**Alright, enough of my rambling, Time to get this show on the road! **

**Chapter Fourteen**

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There has never been a time where Dirk felt as hopeless as he was now. Staring down at the letter in his hand that had informed him that he didn't get the job he went to the interview for really put a damper in his confidence. What the hell was he going to do now? He only had enough money to probably pay for 2 more rent payments and he was already budgeting when it came to food, nappies and other necessities for the boys. In his desperation for money, Dirk had sold a fair few of his swords and other possessions; their sacrifices were not in vain but the money they made disappeared as quickly as they came.

Dirk let out a defeated sigh as he leaned over the table and buried his face into his arms. By the looks of things, he's gonna have to give Dave and Karkat to either Roxy, Jane or Aranea until he finally gets a good paying job; he's glad that they offered to look after the boys but he hates the idea of him being a burden for them by giving them his responsibilities.

Maybe he should get some fresh air. Yeah, that sounds like just what Dirk needs to clear his mind and figure out where to go from here. Quickly, Dirk grabbed the stroller out and hunted down the boys; Dave was on the couch, attempting to climb onto the top of the backrest (and struggling due to his height), while Karkat was crawling around in a rather large pile of smuppets. The oldest Strider swooped in and picked Dave up just as he finally was able to pull himself up to the top, earning an angry whine from the tot, and dug Karkat out from the pile. Strapping the boys in, Dirk quickly exited the apartment, almost instantly feeling much more refreshed than what he was just a few seconds ago in their home.

With no real destination in mind, the three just wondered; keeping an eye out for any possible 'employee wanted' signs, or even a hint of inspiration to bring out his creative side and make a few little gadgets and knickknacks he's surprisingly talented at making (how else would their apartment studio be infested by smuppets?) that he could sell over the internet. Sadly, nothing was coming to mind after 15 minutes, which was making the elder Strider frustrated.

'Alright, maybe you're overthinking everything. If you focus on something else you might come up with something…Jane's birthdays coming up, maybe that'll help.' Dirk thought. He already had something planned for her, sort of a gag gift to freak the poor girl out, and a serious present, hoping that she doesn't kick him out of the house before then. With that in mind, The Striders headed for their next destination. To the sex shop!

Now, most people would think this is a terrible place to take a child but Dave is 1 year old, and Karkat's…god only know's (Dirk's going to have to look that up), it's not like they know where they are or remember. Even if they did, they're gonna learn about it eventually, may as well prepare them while they're young. And because of the kids, it was no surprise that the few people already in the building were staring at them, and probably giving Dirk dirty looks for getting the wrong idea. Pfft, it's not like they know him anyway, so why should he care what the other customers thought of him, now, where's the pornography?

Dirks plan is to get a porno, change the cover art on the case and disk (or sticker) to make it look harmless like a Disney movie or something, thinking Treasure Planet, and SURPRISE! Jane's probably gonna hate him for this (sure she's a prankster herself, but this is out of her area of expertise), Roxy and Meenah will most likely appreciate the prank but he was going to be considerate and at least give her a tame one.

When he finally picked one out, he brought it over to the large man behind the counter, who raised an eyebrow at him which gave Dirk the impression that he had the wrong idea.

"Err, the kids have absolutely nothing to do with this."

"I figured, I've seen parents bring their brats in before, but what on earth is that troll chewing on?" The clerk said as he pointed a fat finger at Karkat.

Confused, Dirk looked over the pram, finding Karkat was chewing on a smuppet he must have had when he was in the pile and- oh shit.

"Oh god," Dirk muttered as he yanked the plush out of the tiny wigglers possession, which earned him a whine. "Shit, I didn't think he had that."

"What on earth is that?" the fat man behind the counter asked, surprisingly looking more curious than disgusted at the puppet in his hand.

"Uhh, it's called a smuppet, I kinda make them." Oh man was Dirk feeling embarrassed, which is a very rare sight, but come on! His adopted bro was found chewing on a very sexualised looking plush doll!

"Really? May I have a look?" Dirk handed the man the doll and watched as the man examined his creation, "Interesting, this is some quality craftsmanship. Did you say you made this?"

"Uhh, yeah. Why?

"You wouldn't happen to be selling these, cuz I think you could make a good deal of money with this."

Dirk was quite for a moment, registering what the man had just said until finally the light bulb inside his head finally lit with realization.

Not even bothering to keep up his cool guy image, Dirk leaned over the bench and gasped onto the clerk's hand. "Sir, thank you so much for giving me an idea for helping me out of my financial problem!" and with that, Dirk rushed out of the shop with the boys; leaving the clerk confused of the sudden burst of joy from the guy with the pointy shades who just abscond.

As soon as they returned home, Dirk released the boys from their confinements and let them roam about and do whatever, while the adult quickly jumped onto the computer.

"I can't believe I didn't think of this, it was right literally in front of me the whole time!" Dirk said to himself as he opened up his Ebay and Etsy account, and a few social media websites for advertisement. This was his last ditch effort; if shit hits the fan then they're completely screwed and the boys will have to go to someone who can look after them properly until he can finally support them himself.

* * *

The first few days went by rather slowly, as expected. Dirk was starting to panic slightly that this plan might not work, but by the fifth day, he could have sworn he had a heart attack right then and there. The sales for these rumpy puppets had exploded from 5 – 12 sales a day to well into the hundreds. Dirk could practically cry tears of joy right now, he was so relieved that selling his smuppets actually worked, the sales were steadily rising, he had plenty of smuppets already made (and even then, they were cheap and quick to make) and the money he was earning was escalating that it was ridiculous.

'Oh my god, where's Karkat? I could just kiss that little bugger.' Dirk wandered around the apartment and found the boys in one of their little tussles in the bedroom. The oldest strider broke them apart by scooping them both up and brought them to his chest in a tight hug.

"It's alright boys, everything's fine now." Dirk whispered, even though the boys wouldn't understand what he was yammering on about. Karkat squirmed a bit in the tight hold until he gave up and remained limp, Dave papped his tiny hand on Dirks face and let out a little 'Bro' before wrapping his chubby arms around his guardian's neck to return the hug. Dirk could never be happier than what he was now.

It's crazy how these last few months have been. First it was just himself with his little brother Dave to take care of; all of a sudden Karkat brings himself into their lives when he was found outside the apartment where his Lusus was killed, and from then on their lives got more interesting. Who'd a thought the tiny, grumpy little grub would be the one to help them through the toughest time of Dirks independence. Hell, Dirk could have left that tiny little thing to die with his guardian, but he's glad he took him in.

"Thank you, thank you so much Karkat."

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**I feel like I'm going to hell for the sex shop thing XD  
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**Well, thank you everyone for the great support throughout this story filled with plot holes and inconsistencies XD all you guys are awesome!**

**I can't say when I'll start the sequel, so be on the lookout!**

**So thank you everyone and i hope you've all enjoyed my fic :)**


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